Email etiquette questions
dd May 9th, 2007
E-mail (note: according to my Mac dictionary you can spell email with a hyphen or without - both are acceptable) by now has become ubiquitous. We all use it although sometimes it uses us — to distraction. Anyway, I’ve been wondering about some email etiquette or convention questions lately. So, here they are:
- How to determine when to end a thread of responses/replies?
This may seem like a simple question, but I think it’s one we all have grappled with. You send a message, that person replies. Now, if there is still some clarification to do, then, of course, you respond. But, if it seems like all questions have been answered, do you send a “final” reply and if so, where does it end? Here’s an example:
Mr X: “Ms. Y, could you please send me the 3 readings I still need so I can post them on the web site? Thanks.”
Ms. Y: “Here they are. Thanks for reminding me.”
Mr. X: These are terrific. I really liked the third one from Sarah. I’ve posted them all.”
Ms. Y: Thanks so much. Yes, I really like Sarah’s reading too. I may use it tonight in class.”
Now, does Mr. X reply with something like: “Great idea. I’m sure the class will like that.” or just stop the conversation? The problem in email is that we don’t have a convention for ending the conversation as we do in face to face dialogues. In that case, we each say “goodby” or “see ya later” or whatever.
- Should you ever use all caps?
Until about 2 years ago, I was unaware that there is an email etiquette rule that says USING ALL CAPS MAKES IT LOOK LIKE YOU’RE SHOUTING! (IT’S ALSO MORE DIFFICULT TO READ.)
Since then, I have avoided using all caps. I don’t want to be shouting or yelling when I send an email to someone. Also, now that I am aware of this convention, when I get an email with word(s) in all caps, I immediately get defensive, just as I would if someone was yelling at me.
- So, should you tell someone who uses all caps about the all caps etiquette rule?
Here, you have to be careful. If you come across in the wrong way, you’ll tick off the person. That’s bad, unless that’s what you want to do. I think the best approach is to do this in a lighthearted way and not come across sanctimoniously. Easier said than done. Guess I can point people to this post.
Anyone have any other email issues/questions? What about abbreviations for example? Feel free to add to the dialog with your comments.
Here are a couple of links to discussions of email/net etiquette:
I spent my first several months on a Computer using all capitals because navigating to the shift key was too difficult . Then, one of the JERKS I work with pointed out to me that it looked like I was SHOUTING which PISSED ME OFF (not really) and I made it a point to start talking low whenever I was talking low if for no other reason than so that people would know when I was SCREAMING!!!
I actually started this blogging just to try to improve my typing skills and while my speed has improved, I get so sloppy sometimes that it is probably rude to post so many errors on a comment. For that I apologize. SKOL!!!
So, Steve, are you glad that one of the JERKS told you about all caps or not?
I have thought about this thing with the CAPS every since you mentioned it. I think you are right, but when Steve writes in all caps, it’s not the same thing. It screams only if it is some words and not all words.
Anyone have an answer to the first question??
If you are talking about “should you ever use all caps?”, yes I think sometimes you should because you want to emphasize something. You are shouting in a sense, but sometimes it’s OK to shout. It doesn’t always mean you’re angry!
I was actually talking about the first issue I raised: “How to determine when to end a thread of responses/replies?”
The way I end email conversations is with a one word reply, like “Thanks!” Or two words, “Got it!” something like that. I don’t have the email problem you have though, since I do most of my conversing on the blog.
The caps thing was something I didn’t know about till you mentioned it. For me, words in caps add emphasis, in lieu of italics or being able to underline. The substance of what’s being typed explains more than caps or small letters to me. If I’m confused, I call the person.
For instance, my sister always ends her comments on the blog with
LOVE YOU!
Doesn’t feel like shouting to me - just a lot of warmth and enthusiasm.
My two cents!
Here are your 5 questions plus a BONUS question:
(1) Should we have been better disciplinarians with our children? Would it really have made any difference?
(2) If you could change one thing that happened in your life to date, what would it be?
(3) If you had become the doctor your mother had envisioned, what type of doctor would you be? Do you think you would be more or less happy than you are today?
(4) If someone gave you $1 million, what would you do with it?
(5) What are the 5 places you want to visit on upcoming trips in order of preference?
(BONUS) If you could be fluent in another language, which one would it be and why?
P.S. I could think of a lot of other questions for you, but you can start with these 6!
Reya — excellent idea about how to sign off emails. Basically, trying to emulate what we do in face to face oral conversations. The all caps is trickier, since if you don’t know the person well, it may be hard to determine if it’s yelling or not. And, this pattern is widely known now in email circles.
Looking - good questions. I have some pondering to do.
So, if there aren’t italics or underline available (like in this box, as far as I know), how else can I create EMPHASIS without making it look like I’m YELLING? As you know, I have a hard time writing in only one register, but I almost never yell. I’ve tried *asterixes* but am not happy with the look, parens only work in one direction (like a quiet aside to clarify or obfuscate something), look doofy, especially if you try the >other
…somehow I got trimmed in my comment. are what look doofy, especially if you try the >other direction
okay, so here’s another problem, some of the possible options seem to have meanings to the system that eliminate their being used…
Ulysses -
You asked for italics?? Here’s how to do it (warning: html code about to be used). In what follows, I’m going to write things like < em >, but when you actually do it, leave out the blanks. For italics, surround the text you want to italicize with < em > and < /em >
In my example it was < em >italics< /em >. You could also make text bold by surrounding it with < b >< /b >.
But, you raise good questions. Normally, I think there are ways to use italics and bold. For example, most email software let’s you write in Rich Text format and thus enables these kinds of formatting. When not available, I have used asterisks, although it’s not ideal.
(long low whistle)
Man if I could do all that I would be able to stop yelling and maybe even speak for myself!
Steve - Do I detect a bit of sarcasm? It’s really not that hard. I know you can do it.
long low whistle
If this works, I’m gonna be hooked! And you will be compelled to put up a list of most often used and really good HTML tags to have as part of our repetoire.
And I really must start editing my comments before I publish because I’m tired of looking like some kind of HAYSEED
Steve — you’re becoming an html guru!!
NOW I get why Steve was so proud on my comment of what you taught him! I’m going to have to copy and paste that onto something so I can print it. How do you know all this stuff? And don’y say by foling around with it because I could blog for 100 years and never “learn that by discovery”!
I love e-mail mostly but I’ve hated it when it wrecks personal relationships for these reasons:
http://felinehangout.blogspot.com/2006/07/getting-it-all-wrong.html
To end the back and forth thing, I sign off as in a letter or live talk..”All for now” Catch ya later” “Gotta run” etc. I always find it peters out anyway until it dies. The words are fewer and fewer and sometimes end with 1 word, “Thanks” or with “Okay then. Keep in touch”
Why can’t you us shortcuts like when you compose, like ctrl + B ?
Maybe e-mailers should have their own key design to be used as punctuation that means “this is the end of this string of e-mails” or “over and out”? (OAO as opposed to Over to You..O2U?) Like all the text messaging lingo I don’t even know!
Ruth –
I know this stuff I guess because I’ve done a far share of web design in the last few years and i’ve been in software forever. And, I do try things and see what happens.
I definitely get your point about email. We truly have to be careful. OTOH (just had to throw that in), I find that if I’m a bit angry or upset that rather than a face to face which could go South in a hurry sometimes, that if I draft an email and let it percolate for a while, that is often a better way to go. Guess there are pros and cons of any form of communication between us humans.
Good points about how to end email threads.
The deal is on most blog comment fields (like blogger or this one in wordpress) is that the fields are sort of stupid. They don’t understand much of anything except plain text and html codes. It’s not like being in a nice editor that you use to create the post. I’m sure that soon this will improve.
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