dd April 30th, 2007
So, as you may have gathered from some previous posts, I’ve been dealing with a few stressful family situations lately. Of course, we all know that we each control (or can try to) how our brains and hearts react to these sitatuions. I’ve always been the type that doesn’t react very well and have tended to let the stress-inducing situation get the better of me. The most recent manifestation has been my headaches. So, I started thinking about trying not to worry so much and chill out despite these stressing family problems. Easier said than done of course.
But, I also think there is a fine line between (a) letting such stress overtake you and (b) making yourself numb to stressful family problems/issues.
(a) Worrying too much can affect your health (certainly true in my case). This is the “make yourself sick with worry” approach. I think my mother is the all time champ here, but I’m probably not far behind.
(b) Not worrying “enough” may keep you healthy, but probably means you are not devoting enough time and energy to trying to help make the stressful situation better (if that’s possible) - this is the “head in the sand” approach.
So, I’m sending this question out to the blogosphere. How do you strike the right balance?
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dd April 27th, 2007
I’ve had this headache for a few weeks now. First, it was triggered by a new bike not configured properly which threw my neck and shoulders for a loop. But, I think that problem is solved. So, now I attribute the headache to the awful tree pollen around here and also the stress of dealing with family issues. I resumed the medication I had stopped several months ago and hopefully it will work its magic again. But, this afternoon, I just marveled at the beauty of Spring just outside my door. The azaleas and dogwoods are gorgeous, but so are our prized dogwoods (which are almost 30 years old now and were just wee little things when we first planted them). Enjoy the view:
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dd April 22nd, 2007
Throughout his anguished life, Seung-Hui Cho slipped through way too many cracks and was failed by his parents, the school systems, our mental health system and ultimately VA Tech. He was such a troubled young person - his family recognized that at a very early age. He never even spoke to his own family. Educators - certainly those at VA Tech - knew he was seriously troubled and most likely a danger to himself and others. Yet, he continued attending the University without professional therapeutic help. Today’s New York Times reports that in 2005, he was sent to an off-campus mental health facility after reports of stalking. They declared him mentally ill, but allowed him to undergo outpatient treatment, which he most likely bagged. So, he returned to VA Tech. The rest is so very sadly, “history”.
What Cho did was heinous and indescribably terrible. Yet, I can’t help but think it could have been avoided if he had been given proper care and treatment for his mental illness. I don’t know if the proper meds or proper therapy could have helped him combat his illness and stay in school. Perhaps, he would have had to leave school.
Society failed Mr. Cho an in so doing, failed the victims and the families of the victims of his violent explosion. It should never have come to that.
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dd April 21st, 2007
We’ve just suffered through a terrible week here in the U.S. and especially here in VA. A crazy act of random unexplained killings has left us all needing some relief and a cause for renewed hope. Just a few days before this awful tragedy at VA. Tech, Yoko Ono stopped through D.C to plant some wish trees and invite people
to write wishes on small pieces of paper and tie them to the branches of potted cherry trees. Ono has installed the trees in cities across the globe and says they were inspired by temple wish trees that she saw during her youth in Japan. (Wash Post, 4/3/07).
This is part of Ono’s “Imagine Peace” project - which makes you think of the irony of her husband and partner John Lennon also being killed by a troubled young man many years ago.
Anyway, Yoko has gone around the world planting her wish trees and is going to collect the messages that people write and assemble them into an “Imagine Peace Tower” later this year in Iceland. What a fabulous idea, don’t you think. The messages run the gamut from “Let’s cover the planet with our love and make it a peaceful world for all of us and our offsprings.” to “peace in Africa”, “an end to gang violence” “to get a promotion this year” to “please bring my daddy home”.
What would you wish for? Since this is a virtual wish tree, you can plant as many wishes as you want. Feel free to explain your wish if you want. Let’s fill up our tree.
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dd April 17th, 2007
I just discovered through ABC News and a VA Tech blog that one of the professors killed in yesterday’s rampage was a real hero who saved the lives of his students by barricading the door while they escaped out the windows. His name is Dr Liviu Librescu, originally from Romania. He was 76 years old and a survivor of the Holocaust. What more is there to say?
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dd April 16th, 2007
For those who haven’t yet heard, a tragedy of indescribable proportion took place today on the campus of Virginia Tech University in Blacksburg, VA. According to early reports, a young Asian-American man killed 22 students, including himself, and wounded many others. News reports at this time indicate an uncertainty about whether the shooter was a current or former student. They say he had a grudge with a professor in the class room building where almost all the carnage took place.
What the hell has happened to us? When I was a college student 40 years ago, no one had guns, let alone think of using them indiscriminately against innocent people because you were pissed off at a professor. Maybe, it will turn out that the killer was mentally disturbed. But, doesn’t it seem so many more of us are so disturbed today? Is it the media that is to blame? Violence is rampant, especially in urban music these days. Video games? Are we more stressed than 40 years ago? Could someone please explain what is going on?
I know friends who have or had students attend VA Tech, which is only a couple of hundred miles from my home in N. VA. I hope and pray their kids were not involved. I can’t even begin to imagine the unspeakable anguish and devastation being felt by the parents of the young people cut down in the beginning of their lives because they happened to be sitting in the wrong classroom in what they thought was a safe state university in a rural part of VA.
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dd April 12th, 2007
A little while ago, Pauline once again reminded me of this great poetry site. Last Friday’s “challenge” was to create a poem using a line left by someone else on the Poetry Thursday site. I thought that sounded like a cool idea and great fun. So, I moseyed over there, figured out how it works and found my line: “Trapped in the frame of an old photograph” by Sara which became my short poem:
CALLING TO ME
Grandpa, oh how I wish I had known you.
Instead, you stare out at me with kind eyes,
Trapped in the frame of an old photograph.
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dd April 12th, 2007
WARNING: THIS IS A PERSONAL “BITCHING” SESSION
Literally and figuratively, I’ve had and probably been a pain in the neck for the last month. It started innocently enough - or so I thought at the time. About a month ago, I decided I wanted a road bike to replace the more “clunkerish” hybrid I had been riding. Biking has become my favorite and only (at the moment) form of aerobic exercise these days. So, I went to my LBS and told them I wanted a road bike with relaxed geometry suited for someone a little older than their typical 20 or 30 something rider. I tried a Specialized Roubaix and a Trek Pilot, similar road bikes intended to be more comfortable and upright than the standard race bikes. I ended up getting the Pilot since it was on ‘06 model on sale and had much better components.
I took it out for a ride the next day and after 20 minutes, my neck and shoulders were really sore. Then, the headaches started and what I call “mental fog”. Of course, I took the bike back to the shop - they have a 30 day full refund or exchange policy. I said, “I need a different bike”. They asked why and I explained my sad story. I actually like the guys at the LBS a lot and they said that the bike needed a more thorough fitting and customization to fit my needs. They raised the handlebars, adjusted the seat etc. I took it home again and I must say subsequent rides felt much better. And, I do like the bike. But, I guess I had so messed up my neck and shoulders that it’s taken quite a while to get back to normal. Meanwhile, I’ve paid visits to my chiropractor, massage therapist and my holistic internist for acupuncture. Today, the doc applied what she called the “meat tenderizer” acupuncture tool (it really looks like a miniature meat tenderizer, but the Chinese have a different name for it - plum something). Then, she applied the red (hot oil) Tiger balm and went to work with the needles. Guess she pulled out the big guns today.
I think the whole problem has been exacerbated by worry over my 92 year old mom who ended up back in the hospital recently with compression fractures of her spine and stenosis - the result of really bad osteoporosis. She is now at the convalescence center again. Poor woman - she just got out of that place a few weeks ago. And, there is the awful tree pollen and other allergens bursting all around here - I’m allergic to everything. And, throw in income taxes, work and my volunteer stuff on top of that and well, guess it’s no wonder I have a pain in the neck.
So, if you’ve been wondering why you’ve seen fewer posts and fewer comments from me - that’s the partial explanation.
There - got that off my chest. Thanks to all you wonderful “therapists” out there for listening.
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dd April 8th, 2007
This is one of the most clever and hilarious videos ever. Take a look and say hello to Soubriquet while you’re there.
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dd April 8th, 2007
In a previous post, I talked about the Seder that I led at our home. We had several good discussions spun off from questions raised during the “service”. I attended a community Seder last night, hosted by our Temple’s women’s group. I enjoyed it very much.
During the Seder at the point of opening the door “for Elijah”, the participants at each table were asked to discuss what they plan to do over the next 12 months to make this world a better place in which to live. In other words, how can we contribute to “tikkun olam”, repairing the world (this is a concept first drawn from the ancient mystic Kabbalah tradition, but has become preeminent today - the world is flawed and broken and we have to do our part to fix it). It’s a good question don’t you think? I won’t bore you with my response, but would be really interested to hear how others would answer.
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