My Aunt Zelda - Sharp as a Tack at 98
dd January 13th, 2007
What a complicated person my Aunt Zelda is. At 98, she is the sole survivor of the 13 Diskin children, of which my father was the 13th. She has just been relocated (”temporarily” she says) to the convalescent wing of the Selfhelp home in Chicago. stuff on self help home. She has serious macular degeneration which has left her nearly blind. She has balance problems, complicated by vanity and not wanting to use her walker. She has fallen numerous times, but she is unbelievably mentally acute. She remembers multiple phone numbers and has neither short nor long term memory loss. She looks great for her age.
Her biggest problem now and for her entire life is indecisiveness. “Should I get married?” She never did to the chagrin of her many suitors, despite being quite attractive and charming. “Should I move to assisted living?” She had been living by herself in a nice apartment in Chicago until 3 weeks ago. She still wants to go back she says “to think about her next move”. My cousin here in Chicago who is a doctor says she shouldn’t spend antoher night alone there. “Should I move to Detroit to be closer to my mother, sister, nieces and other parts of the Diskin clan?” She never did, but still thinks about it.
Yet, she has lived a remarkable full life. She became a singer, philosopher, psychologist - all self taught. She made many friends - young and old. She saved and invested money wisely - all from the salary of an executive secretary.
We had a nice visit with her yesterday at the Selfhelp home. It’s a wonderful place, although as you can imagine, not all of the residents are in the greatest shape. The dinner we had with my aunt, a woman who can’t hear well and has some dementia, and another woman who hears and sees but has periodic episodes of angry outbursts was both comical and heart wrenching. The good news is that my aunt is well enough to move to an apartment on the assisted living floors, where the residents are generally in good mental condition.
The staff is very caring, there are tons of activities which my aunt enjoys - Shabbat Service, music, lectures. My aunt has made tons of friends, despite her feeling that there are too many German Jews there. The German Jews came to America 40 years before the Eastern European Jews like the Diskins and the perception among the new-comers was that they looked down upon the “greenhorns” from the shtetls. The German Jews were urban and sophisticated by comparison. But, we met several wonderful residents including Henry a handsome blue eyed German who was a stain glass maker and teacher. In his family, he and his brother were the only survivors of the holocaust.
Our mission for the rest of the weekend is to keep reinforcing how nice the Selfhelp home is and how much better off Zelda would be if she could stay here permanently - she is on the waiting list for an apartment. Wish us luck!
Sounds and looks pretty amazing for her age. Hope she gets a spot in there as it seems perfect. Would be great if we all find a place like that 30 years from now! (Or that we’re even here!!!)
ruth - she is amazing. yesterday, she serenaded us with a song parody she wrote 30 years ago adn remembered every word.
It remains to be seen just how successful we have been at our mission. But no one can say we didn’t try. Zelda has become my role model for growing old. I just hope I live to be 98 and still be as with it as she is.
What a great place for her to be!!! You guys are very lucky to have her. Older folks are such an unmined treasure. Too often they get put somewhere and all but forgotten about. Too often, where they have to go is not a place anyone should have to be. i brought my Grandmother and my father home from Nursing homes before they died. It may be the best thing I will have ever done. My Grandmother had really lost her mind, but I think it was from lonliness more than anything. She actually improved when we got her home. Covered the walls of her room with family pictures and talked to her everyday…it was a treasure like I’ve never known.
Steve — I really appreciate your thought that we are lucky to have Zelda. You are so right. She’s probably the most remarkable person I’ve ever known. you’re right, nursing homes can be dreadful. The selfhelp home in Chicago, however, is not a nursing home and is a great place from what we can tell. The staff are terrific.
Beautiful Zelda
She’s broken all the super hearts of the
Super Heroes of the galaxy
So why does she wanna mess around with me?
yeah…
Listen to my story
It’s sad but it’s true
Please don’t laugh, it could happen to you
Beautiful Zelda from Galaxy Four (oh no)
Suddenly walked through my door
Beautiful Zelda, leave me alone
Just get on back to the Twilight Zone
Don’t try your jive on a poor Earth boy
‘Cause your kind of love don’t bring me no joy
(oh no!)The Bonzos
A fourth dimensional space warp brought her to me
Oh yeah
The most beautiful girl I ever did see
Oh yeah
She gave me her hand but when I held her
Oh yeah
I was fooled by the beautiful Zelda
Beautiful Zelda, tell me the truth
I’m just a clean livin’ all-Earth youth
Don’t try your jive on a poor Earth boy
‘Cause your kind of love don’t bring me no joy
Beautiful Zelda
Beautiful Zelda
Beautiful Zelda
Must admit - had never heard of this. So, google to the rescue and lo and behold there is such a song by the Gonzo Dog Band. You can actually watch it on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85fdtF9yR3k. I think my Aunt would love it. Thanks!
Hi,
I found your blog via google by accident and have to admit that youve a really interesting blog
Just saved your feed in my reader, have a nice day
[…] I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining, but I’m also the kind of person who hates unplanned trips when I’m working on so many other things. And, I just was in Detroit in December and in Chicago in January visiting my 98 year old Aunt in a convalescent situation. And,who likes to fly these days, especially in the middle of winter to the Midwest? […]